In our first blog of this series on Understanding Polarities and Why They Matter in Leadership, we introduced the concept of polarities – interdependent pairs that need each other. Although they often feel like they are in conflict, they are actually two parts of the same whole and we need to navigate both poles to get the full benefits.
In this second blog, we explore how to recognise and navigate internal polarities to deepen self-awareness and expand leadership adaptability.
Recognising Personal Polarity Patterns
Self-awareness is foundational to navigating polarities. We naturally develop preferred patterns of behaving or leading, leaning on familiar strengths. While valuable, over-relying on them can create blind spots and unintended consequences.
Under pressure, these preferences tend to intensify, causing us to default to familiar strategies even when the situation calls for a different approach. Recognising these patterns and their impact — and the upside and downside of both poles — increases our ability to adapt and respond more effectively.
For example:
- A leader who excels at decisiveness might overlook the need for deeper reflection, leading to reactive rather than strategic decisions.
- A leader who is highly empathetic may struggle to set boundaries, leading to emotional exhaustion or unclear expectations.
Exploring the Opposite Pole
Developing the ability to engage with the opposing pole of a familiar strength expands our leadership capacity. This isn’t about abandoning our strengths - it’s about complementing them with the ability to draw on the opposite pole as needed.
- A decisive leader can strengthen their leadership by developing more reflective practices to deepen strategic thinking.
- A leader strong in empathy can enhance their presence by setting clearer boundaries, preserving emotional capacity while maintaining connection.
The goal isn’t to create a fixed 50:50 balance — it’s about cultivating agility and range, so you can shift your approach based on the demands of the situation.
Facing the Fear of Change
It’s one thing to recognise the need to shift toward the opposite pole — but actually doing it is where many leaders get stuck. Beena Sharma’s work on polarity dynamics offers practical guidance on how to move from awareness to action.
Why It Feels Hard
A key barrier to embracing the opposite pole is fear. The greater the value you place on one pole, the greater the fear of leaning into the opposite.
- If you value decisiveness, you might fear that becoming more reflective will make you seem indecisive or slow.
- If you value empathy, you might worry that setting boundaries will make you appear cold or uncaring.
This creates internal resistance — even when you intellectually know that the other pole is necessary, emotionally it can feel like a threat to your identity or competence.
Sharma explains that this is because we tend to over-identify with the strengths we’ve developed over time. Our strengths become part of our leadership identity — how we see ourselves and how others see us. Shifting toward the opposite pole can feel like abandoning that identity, even though in reality it’s about expanding it.
Start Small
This is why small, low-risk experiments are so important. Trying to shift completely toward the opposite pole all at once can trigger even more resistance and totally abandoning the strengths of the pole you naturally lean into.
Instead, start with small adjustments:
- A decisive leader could schedule 10 minutes of reflection before making a decision.
- An empathetic leader could try saying no to one small request to preserve emotional energy.
Small steps reduce the emotional threat and increase your capacity to hold both poles.
Fear is a signal that you’re stepping outside your comfort zone and expanding your leadership range. The key is to engage with that fear consciously and gently, without letting it push you back toward over-relying on your default strengths.
Practical Reflection: Mapping Your Internal Polarities
Use these reflection questions to help identify, explore, and navigate your internal polarities:
- What strengths or values do you naturally lean on, especially under pressure? Consider the leadership qualities or behaviours you default to when things get challenging
- What are the early warning signs that you might be overusing this strength? Are you feeling resistance from others, mental or emotional fatigue, or noticing unintended consequences?
- What is the complementary strength or value that could balance or expand your response? Frame it positively — not as a weakness but as a valuable counterbalance.
- What small, low-risk experiment could help you engage with the opposite pole? What’s the smallest step you could take to explore the other side without feeling like you’re abandoning your strengths?
- How will you recognise when you need to shift back toward your natural strength or adjust your balance? What feedback from yourself or others will signal that it’s time to recalibrate?
Navigating internal polarities increases our capacity to hold both ends of the spectrum and access the benefits of the whole. The more we build this range, the greater our resilience, adaptability, and ability to lead through complexity.
Please join us next week as we explore how to navigate polarities in teams.
Images by Susan Wilkinson, Jovis Aloor and Nick Fewings on Unsplash
