As leaders, one of our key roles is co-creating and reinforcing the desired organisational culture. In doing so, the choice between enabling discussion or dialogue is crucial. Discussion often involves throwing ideas at each other to win arguments or assert dominance, while dialogue focuses on understanding others and seeking mutual learning.
As we explored in last week’s blog, fear often drives our actions at work, leading us to manipulate situations to protect ourselves by hiding our true selves or presenting ourselves in ways to meet others’ expectations. As leaders, we can make a choice everyday between holding conversations from a place of fear or leaning into authenticity. Too often we choose the path of safety and give up the possibility of addressing issues that undermine our relationships, limit our productivity, chip away our self-confidence and constrain opportunity.
When we work towards embracing authenticity by being open and honest about who we are, courageously sharing our perspectives and experiences, and genuinely inviting the same in others, we can enable honest dialogue over superficial discussions. When we are resourced to courageously meet our fears and speak truthfully even amid uncertainty, we build capacity in ourselves and others to build authentic relationships, to influence outcomes and to break down barriers.
This inner work towards dialogue and authenticity sets the external stage for meaningful cultural transformation in organisations. But how do we do this in practice?
To engage in authentic dialogue effectively, we must balance advocacy with inquiry and be willing to explore our own and others' perspectives with courage and compassion.
Balancing advocacy—openly sharing our truths and opinions—and inquiry—genuinely exploring others' perspectives—requires humility and the recognition that we have much to learn from each other. This approach helps uncover our true thoughts and feelings while creating space for others to do the same.
To peel back the layers of self-protection, speak our truth and say what we really think even when it may be met with disapproval takes courage. To prevent this courage from leading to arrogance or hostility, it must be paired with compassion, acknowledging the validity of others' perspectives, empathising with their realities, and taking ownership of our 'part in the mess'.
Consistently achieving this quality of dialogue and engaging in authentic conversations requires self-awareness, patience, and perseverance. It means staying attuned to our feelings and thoughts, especially when they contradict the prevailing narrative, speaking unpopular truths despite potential resistance, and living in alignment with our values, even in the face of adversity.
Meet Emma - We partner with this incredible leader, Emma, who inherited a dysfunctional, siloed, and reactive team. She noticed that the team’s competitive discussions created a culture of fear, limiting productivity and compromised psychological safety. Meetings were rare and unproductive, with members either arguing to win or not sharing their perspectives at all. With patience, courage, and tough love, Emma set out to model authentic dialogue and transform the team culture. She shared personal stories about her fears and mistakes in meetings and individual catchups. Emma balanced advocacy with inquiry by saying things like, “This is what I think, but what are your thoughts?” She created safe spaces by asking, “What do we need from each other to feel safe to speak openly?” Emma addressed difficult topics directly and with empathy, thanking people for their honesty and openness. She also sought honest feedback on her communication style and encouraged her team to do the same. After 18 challenging but rewarding months, which included moving a few people on, Emma’s efforts led to a noticeable cultural shift. The team felt valued and safe, openly sharing perspectives, and using each other as sounding board. As a result, the team’s effectiveness, productivity and wellbeing improved significantly.
In the realm of leadership, our choices between discussion and dialogue shape the very fabric of organisational culture. Fear may tempt us to hide our true selves, but embracing authenticity paves the way for genuine connection. Emma's journey illustrates this beautifully: through open dialogue and vulnerability, she transformed her team into a place of trust and productivity. Let's learn from her example and cultivate environments where honest conversation thrives, driving positive change from within.
Join us next week as we close our May blog series interviewing one of our favourite people - Candice Smith, Founder of The Thinking Field and one of only two Time To Think Faculty members in the Asia Pacific region. We will have a taste of her deep knowledge and experience on how to cultivate generative conversations.
Photo by Mihai Surdu on Unsplash