In this month’s blog series, we'll explore how to navigate and work with leaders whose styles and approaches might make it challenging for us to be at our best. Whether they're overcontrolling, overprotective, or overly compliant, we'll look at the reality and impact of these different leadership styles and understand what drives them. We'll also share practical strategies to build positive and productive working relationships with these leaders.
Let's start by discovering how to effectively work with overcontrolling leaders and colleagues.
What Underpins the Overcontrolling Leadership Approach?
Our internal assumptions are the foundational beliefs that define how we see ourselves and our relationship with the world. For overcontrolling leaders, these beliefs include the need to stay safe by taking charge, the conviction that only the strong survive, and the necessity to triumph over others to feel good about themselves. They believe that anything less than perfect is unacceptable, their value is tied to others’ admiration, and the world is divided into winners and losers. Being perceived as ‘less than others’ threatens their security, and any failure, no matter how small, could lead to their downfall.
What Does Overcontrolling Leadership Look Like in Action?
Our behaviours are the external expression of our internal assumptions. For leaders that hold the belief structure described above, the resulting behaviours can include constantly striving to outperform others and approaching their work as a series of competitions that must be won.
Overcontrolling leaders tend to set very high, often unrealistic, standards for themselves and their team, expecting flawless performance and tolerating no mistakes. Their focus on achieving perfect results can lead to a preoccupation with minor details. These leaders frequently assert their authority to make decisions and control outcomes, demonstrating high energy and drive, often working long hours and expecting the same from their team and colleagues.
Their communication style is direct and no-nonsense, which can come across as harsh or abrasive. To motivate people, they use pressure tactics, emphasising winning and achieving goals above all else. This relentless push for success means they quickly assume control in meetings, projects, and crisis situations, rarely delegating significant authority to others.
While this approach can lead to high performance, it can also lead to stress and burnout, inhibit collaboration, stifle creativity and limit cohesion within and across teams.
How Do You Work With Overcontrolling Leaders?
Managing an overcontrolling leader or colleague requires a combination of strategies that enable effective communication, maintaining your own agency and wellbeing, and fostering a positive working relationship. Here are some suggested strategies to ignite your thinking:
- Appreciate What Drives Them and Build Trust - It can help to firstly understand that overcontrolling behaviours stem from deep-seated beliefs about personal safety and self-worth being intertwined with the quality of their results. Appreciating that these leaders feel compelled to dominate and view any failure as a significant threat, your demonstration of high-quality work, reliability, a proactive attitude, and the ability to get things done will help build trust and make them more comfortable with delegating or asking for help.
- Share Understanding of Expectations - Take the initiative to clarify goals, deadlines, and standards to co-create a shared understanding of what is expected from both sides. Find the right rhythm for providing updates on your progress to keep them informed without feeling micromanaged. Regularly exchange feedback to ensure your work aligns with their expectations and directly address any concerns or adjustments needed as they arise.
- Establish Healthy Boundaries and Hold Your Agency - Working with an overcontrolling leader may tempt some to give away their power by seeking constant approval, avoiding responsibility, suppressing ideas, over-accommodating, or downplaying their achievements. These behaviours may stem from a desire to avoid conflict or criticism but can hinder your personal growth and job satisfaction. It's crucial to recognise these tendencies, establish healthy boundaries, step out of your comfort zone, and find support from others who can be a safe sounding board as you experiment with cultivating and maintaining your sense of empowerment and autonomy.
- Leverage Their Strengths - Beneath their challenging approach, overcontrolling leaders often have a strong desire to achieve high standards and outcomes for themselves and others. At their best, these leaders are proactive, driven toward continuous improvement, adaptable, influential in their communication, and confident in expressing their opinions. By recognising and engaging with these strengths, you can benefit from their positive traits while maintaining your own growth and autonomy.
In our next blog in this series, we will unpack how to navigate an Overprotective Leadership Style.
Photo by Chris Sabor on Unsplash
