Welcome back to the second instalment in this month’s blog series, where we are exploring how to navigate and work with leaders whose styles and approaches might make it challenging for us to be at our best. In this blog we unpack how to effectively work with overprotecting leaders and colleagues.
What Underpins the Overprotecting Leadership Approach?
The foundational beliefs of overprotecting leaders centre on the need to be safe by protecting themselves and establishing their worth through their knowledge. They believe their value is demonstrated by being right or finding the weakness in others. Their self-worth is tied to their perceived superior capability or insight.
They operate under the assumption that for them to be right, others must be wrong (or vice versa). This mindset can stem from a fear of not being good enough, leading them to either remain small and uninvolved (inferiority) or to build themselves up and take up a lot of space (superiority). They view vulnerability, uncertainty, and emotional investment as risky and something to be avoided.
What Does Overprotecting Leadership Look Like in Action?
The belief structure of overprotective leaders results in behaviours such as withdrawing, remaining distant, projecting arrogance and critiquing others. They often hold back and observe situations, appearing aloof or detached. They may project an air of superiority by focusing on what is wrong or lacking in others' plans and can come across as highly critical or cynical, frequently pointing out flaws in others' thinking and actions.
Their communication style can be cold and critical, which can come across as uncaring and self-centred. They tend to be overly rational, analysing situations to determine right or wrong, and distancing others through their judgment. They can get upset when challenged and often blame others when things go wrong.
In an effort to "get it right," overprotective leaders focus on identifying problems, avoiding risks or responsibility, and suppressing their ideas and creativity. Conversely, to "prove they're right," they may take excessive risks, rely solely on their own ideas, or overreach to demonstrate their capability. While this approach provides them a sense of safety it can stifle innovation, lead to overly cautious or ambitious decision-making, and diminish the ideas, motivation, and efforts of others.
By acting cold, aloof, and adopting a posture of superiority, they distance others and limit their own positive impact, reducing the contributions they are capable of making through a narrow range of rational distant behaviours.
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How Do You Work With Overprotecting Leaders?
Handling an overprotective leader or colleague involves employing strategies that enhance trust, co-created shared understanding and build a positive working relationship. Consider these approaches to spark your thinking:
- Understand Their Motivations and Establish Trust - Appreciating that overprotective behaviours stem from deep-seated beliefs linking security with distance and worth with either remaining small and uninvolved or acting superior can help you appreciate their motivations. Their aloofness, arrogance, and superiority are often intertwined with self-criticism and self-doubt. To build trust, demonstrate your ability to navigate complexity, hold multiple perspectives, engage in debates, and remain objective. Inviting their perspective, offering appreciation, and building on their ideas can encourage them to lower their protective armour.
- Meet them in Their Thinking - Overprotective leaders often spend a lot of time in their heads, focusing on creating and maintaining certainty. To engage with them effectively, take a long-term view, anticipate risks and share well thought out perspectives and insights. Listen deeply and build on their ideas. Challenge them respectfully and, when necessary, steer the conversation towards other important factors such as relationships and action-taking. For instance, if overprotective leaders get self-absorbed in or paralysed by their own thinking, ask them if they have engaged anyone else or if there’s any concrete steps or experimentations they could take. Or If they are withdrawing from a conversation or minimising themselves, encourage them to share any initial thoughts they might have.
- Leverage Their Strengths - Underneath their demeanour, overprotective leaders often have a genuine care for a few key people or causes. At their best, they can cut through complexity, take a broader perspective, and identify issues that others might miss. They can hold multiple perspectives, providing alternative ways to view situations, and offer a great deal of wisdom and insight. At a personal level, they protect their inner life by maintaining a healthy level of distance, allowing them to remain detached and observant when things become too emotional.
- Provide Supportive Feedback - Appreciating overprotecting leaders often experience self-criticism and self- doubt, it can be helpful to offer supportive feedback. Establish yourself as trustworthy by demonstrating your ability to meet them in their thinking and then offer feedback that includes both genuine appreciation for their strengths and positive impact and points to behaviours that limit their effectiveness as leaders.
In our final blog in this series, we will unpack how to navigate an Overcomplying Leadership Style.
Photo by Tolga Ulkan on Unsplash
